then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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