i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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