she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
