I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize