There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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