the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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