the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
