how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
