not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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