A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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