remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
