I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
