But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
