i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
