90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
