Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
