I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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