Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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