Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
