One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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