You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
