batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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