just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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