how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She's the barista slut.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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