Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
