so explain again why im purple
no
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
