I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
