how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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