dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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