Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
