My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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