Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
