My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
