pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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