I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
