I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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