i think my tv is drunk
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
