Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
