That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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