I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
