This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize