he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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