It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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