I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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