Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
