so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He passed out mid-signature
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
