You made me cry and you don't even care
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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