What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up under a house in Key West
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