Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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