all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
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I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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