I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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