i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
