Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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