We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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