she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
