My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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