So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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