Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
