Who wears a wallet chain?!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall