pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?