she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.