Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.