Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books

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  (607): your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books http://tfl.nu/j6cy
  Replies (6) Good night (1098) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

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  (480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is. http://tfl.nu/0bg6
  Replies (13) Good night (2139) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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  (901): why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it? http://tfl.nu/zj16
  Replies (16) Good night (2084) Bad night (2094) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  dont u have athletes foot?

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  (214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings (1-214): dont u have athletes foot? http://tfl.nu/a028
  Replies (27) Good night (1070) Bad night (5552) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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  (636): So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man. http://tfl.nu/8qmy
  Replies (73) Good night (8984) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with

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  (978): you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with http://tfl.nu/g7w5
  Replies (41) Good night (947) Bad night (5165) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila

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  (612): I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila http://tfl.nu/4u8b
  Replies (20) Good night (5859) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.

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  (717): She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/4m88
  Replies (7) Good night (2551) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.

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  (612): Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things. http://tfl.nu/vads
  Replies (9) Good night (3852) Bad night (1174) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this

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  (778): She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this http://tfl.nu/vwo0
  Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (1944) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?

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  (214): Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up? http://tfl.nu/f130
  Replies (9) Good night (3549) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.

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  (561): I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition. http://tfl.nu/6rth
  Replies (19) Good night (2417) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?

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  (651): Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door? http://tfl.nu/hi0q
  Replies (7) Good night (1714) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance

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  (661): i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance http://tfl.nu/ezzs
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?

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  (707): My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day? http://tfl.nu/zsu8
  Replies (7) Good night (241) Bad night (706)

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