what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.