its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.