Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
