Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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