The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
