Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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