Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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