That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
