Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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