talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
