Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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