no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
