It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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